Outgoing Mail: Nov 3

To the poor: Better luck next time. At least you've got your health care. Oh, you don't? Too bad. Well, there's always Social Security. And maybe you can cash out your 401k to get you through until 2008. And if the government won't help you, there's always the Church. There isn't? You have none? It won't? Oh, that's right. I forgot. Being poor is a sign that you are lazy and sinful. Which means you automatically qualify for Invisibility Status to the rest of us who deserve everything we have. Well, like I said, better luck next time. Hope that rent money comes in.

To the people who were planning to breathe the air and drink the water and take walks in the woods: Better do it quick.

To Colin Powell: Please please please don't leave. I am afraid of what will happen to the world in the hands of the witless Armchair Generals.

To Ken Lay: Cheney's on the phone. Wants to have lunch.

To Ohio and Florida: What were you thinking?

To the unwanted unborn: For all of our sake, and for yours most of all, I hope the man puts his money where his mouth is this time.

To the rest of the world: I am so very sorry. Please believe that this election was about social values within our borders and not about arrogance and cluelessness overseas. At least I hope it was.