Malbork Fortress

I took the day off to celebrate the end of this long trip and went sightseeing in Poland at a fortress built in the late 1200s. Yeah, that's pretty old. The Teutonic knights built the castle to be the seat of their government in northern Poland.

Proof that "progress" is not always progress: in the late 1700s, the Prussians were using the castle as a military warehouse, and decided that a bunch of condos and a McDonald's or two would better serve the city, and proceeded to demolish the monstrous fortress. Fortunately King Frederick Wilhelm III was a little more farsighted than the city officials and called a halt to the disaster in 1804. Thus the castle was saved for future generations. Of course, in 1945 the kindly German Luftwaffe came through and shot the hell out of the place for target practice. Which was a stupid thing to do, may I politely suggest.

Anyway, I had the place almost entirely to myself today, a really amazing experience. This looks just like Disneyland, I thought to myself, before knocking myself on the head for the pure ridiculousness of the thought. And then, I thought, no, it's just like Zork. Go south, I kept saying out loud. You have entered a large room. There are doors to the west and to the south. Okay, I'm a geek.

In any case, it was a childhood dream come true to have a drizzly afternoon free to explore a medieval castle all on my own. Endless hall after endless hall. On occasion a warm and well-lit room full of tapestries or armor. In the basement, I peered into the dim kitchen and thought to myself "that is a very lifelike costumed dummy they have sitting there at the table." And then he nodded solemly to me and went back to reading his book. I swear he looked just like the Albino from the Pit of Despair in the Princess Bride.

And then, after 2 hours of sweet solitary exploration, as I was walking out, 2 busloads of German tourists poured into the castle. Could the afternoon have been any better?